Just Can't Let Go Read online

  “You do a lot for me, for us. It’s going to work out for you this time,” I reassured him. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. Your company is going to thrive.”

  “I sure hope you’re right. I’m tired of falling short.”

  Failure wasn’t a bad thing. No successful person I knew had become wealthy without hard knocks.

  “I came from nothing, Dev. My own mother didn’t want me. She still doesn’t need me for anything. I feel like she looks down on me like I’m a disappointment.” A tear fell from his left eye first, then his right.

  My pussy stopped puckering. I sighed. Resumed drinking. Wish he’d stop playing the victim. Stop believing he had to prove himself worthy of his mother’s love. Time would do what I couldn’t. Heal his broken heart. I witnessed the reunion between Phoenix and Mrs. Etta Watson-Henry. She was trying to bond with him. Abandoning Phoenix was never her intention. Etta had explained she wasn’t ready to be a mom, so she’d left him with her mother. What was done couldn’t be undone.

  The positive part he hadn’t learned to appreciate was Phoenix had reconnected with his mother. When he told his grandmother we were pregnant and having a girl, his mother contacted him the same day. He wasn’t her only child, but he was the eldest and the only one she hadn’t parented. At least he knew who she was. I wasn’t going to allow myself to join his pity party by my bringing up who my “unknown” father was.

  Mrs. Watson-Henry had been a blessing to us, to me. A year ago she started keeping Nya whenever we needed, to give us time together. She’d watch Nya every day if we’d agree. My mom was too busy enjoying her younger man, Spencer, to babysit. To give Nya a balanced schedule and time with her cousins, my sister, Sandara, kept Nya several days a week. Mercedes pitched in too.

  My mom’s relationship with Spencer was going to end soon. Even if I knew who the father of Alexis’s unborn child was, I was not going to be the one to tell my mom that Alexis might be pregnant by Spencer.

  I told my man, “You have to let go of the pain and be thankful.” I would’ve worded what I’d said differently if I didn’t think he’d get offended. Tiptoeing around his ego was better than ruining a decent moment with him today.

  Phoenix could go from hot to cold in seconds. He’d better not act a fool on my set. I had to mute the dialogue in my head in order to enjoy the rest of this day. This opportunity would not repeat for at least eight weeks.

  “I love you, babe. You’re amazing.” I told him the truth.

  Sitting our glasses on the table, I planted kisses on his cheeks, then passionately pressed my lips to his. Squeezing his dick, I sucked his tongue.

  He leaned back. “I’ma go check on Nya. Hopefully she’s asleep.” Picking up his cell, he walked away, saying, “You stay right here.”

  Bam! Bam! Bam!

  Phoenix stopped. We stared at each other.

  Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!

  He hurried to the front door. I followed him. He reached toward the shelf mounted high upon the wall next to the door, then opened the box. Got the gun, handed me one.

  There were no chairs, stools, or benches close enough to the door where Nya might climb. All of our weapons were stored where our child could not reach them. At night we unlocked the drawers on our nightstands where we kept loaded forties. Each morning we secured the lock, then placed the key in the top dresser drawer.

  Phoenix peeped through the hole.

  I whispered, “Who is it?”

  He took my gun, put both back in the box. Opened the door.

  Staring at my sister, I asked, “Why are you trying to knock down my front door?”

  Mercedes said, “Get your purse. Alexis needs us! We’ve got to go now!”

  CHAPTER 7

  Phoenix

  “Call me a bitch!”

  It wasn’t her first time asking. I rattled my head. Had never said that word to a woman other than her. Never referred to her as such outside of the bedroom. Didn’t want to obey her right now. Wanted to do to her what I couldn’t do to my fiancée, fuck the shit out of her real good.

  Smack! Her palm landed on my jaw. She started choking me. There was no script. She wasn’t acting. We were not role-playing. This was how she got down.

  “Call me a bitch!” This time she was more demanding.

  Unable to breathe, my eyes scrolled so far back if they could do a 360, they would’ve spun completely around. I wanted to howl at the moon outside her window like I were a wolf in the night surrounded by darkness and that was my only light. This shit was so intense I couldn’t yelp like a pup if I wanted. But I loved it!

  She pushed me deeper onto the mattress. Releasing her chokehold, she grabbed my dick, stared into my eyes. I gasped for air. This small-framed chick was a mighty strong woman.

  “I’m getting ready to suck you dry. This here is my dick. Do you understand me?”

  Started to respond. The “I need you” intro to Chris Brown and Tyga’s song “Ayo” played on my cell back-to-back-to-back, interrupting the moment. Ebony knew the text tone was my fiancée calling.

  “Forget that bitch.” Ebony picked up my cell, put it on vibrate, and resumed what she was doing to my dick.

  Drove me fucking nuts when she dominated me. Talked dirty to me. She didn’t do it all the time, but her timing was always perfect. I didn’t want to take the lead on this session.

  Watching her stroke my dick with precision, up, down, left, right, round and round she rolled my balls at the base of my shaft. I fought to suppress exploding all over her face when she rubbed my dick between her flat palms fast enough to start a fire.

  The combination of her aggressive attitude and her jacking my shit every which way as though she were possessed made me nervous. I had to rescue my man. I cupped my hands over my shaft.

  “Slow down, babe.”

  She snatched my wrists, broke my grip, flung my arms into my chest. “Who the fuck you talkin’ to? Did I give you permission to speak? Did I tell you to touch my dick? This here is my dick and you gon’ stop giving it to your baby mama. You hear me?”

  Smack! Her palm stung the hell out of my cheek. All I did was stare at her.

  The seductive rasp in her voice could’ve made me spat seeds semiautomatic-style on those perky nipples. Before I answered, she started sucking the head. I was hypnotized at the sight of my pole sliding in and out of her mouth.

  One of her hands was clamped at the base. The other stacked on top. Saliva streamed from her mouth. She hawked, then spat on my shit. Next, all I saw was my swollen mushroom going in and out each time she bobbed. I swore my copperhead felt like it was about to blast off of my chopper. Seeing her work that black magic with her flickering tongue felt as though I were on the verge of a tsunami.

  Wedging my erection between her firm breasts, redirecting her eyes only, she stared up at me, twirled her nipples. Spoke in between sucks while sandwiching me tighter between her twins.

  “Nigga, you gon’ learn to stop fucking her before coming to my house.”

  I nodded.

  “Your dick gon’ need crutches when I’m done.” Licking her lips, she moaned. “I got some popsicles in the freezer.”

  Aw, hell yes! The way she chilled her mouth with those strawberry, orange, and grape pops. “Whew!”

  “That’s right, you sexy muthafucka. Don’t make me go downstairs to the refrig. Ain’t no telling what I’ll surprise you with. Is my dick happy, baby?”

  “Fuck yeah.” Going to check on Nya was my way of avoiding sexing Dev. Ebony always made holding on to my nut worthwhile. Mercedes rescued me from the excuses floating in my mind at that time. Talking business, playing ignorant, that was my way of taking Dev’s libido down a notch or two.

  I nodded again. “Chopper is about to bust!”

  “Good.”

  Ebony’s twisting was painful and pleasurable. Yeah! Break my third leg, babe. My eyes shifted to the left, paused, then focused on her. She dove into my genitals like twelve starving seagulls descending on a single pie
ce of sourdough. This time I couldn’t see my dick at all.

  I wasn’t sure what she’d done next, but the spot my corona hit deep inside of her throat at that very second made me say, “Right there, bitch!” I screamed like a girl. I thrust my hips forward. The roof of her mouth hooked, then snapped the upper side of my head, hooked, then snapped again as though she was trying to flick off the top of a beer bottle. I held the back of her head so she couldn’t move.

  “Fuck! Bitch! Yes!”

  Her jaws suctioned in.

  Ebony had made me do lots of things I’d never done like cum from getting head. It felt amazing every time a woman’s mouth was down there, but no one had made me bust, not even Dev. The first time it happened with Ebony, I thought it was a fluke. The second time was impressive. But she was consistent. So was Dev. The score had to be something like Ebony 99, Dev 0.

  Chilling on the love seat earlier with Dev, I’d already plotted my getaway to Ebony’s tonight. I’d never planned on hanging with the fellas. Took Ebony to T.I.’s Scales 925 for a post-midnight date soon as she’d finished memorizing her lines Friday. I saw Alexis, pretended not to. Hope she hadn’t tripped off of my being with Ebony. Didn’t really matter since I was Ebony’s manager. If Alexis put me on blast, I’d tell Dev I was with the fellas and I ran into Ebony.

  When a man cheated on the regular the way I did, countless comeback lines were programmed into my mind to defuse any and all situations.

  My day was preplanned. After we took Nya to the aquarium, I was headed here. Not wanting to disappoint Nya, once Dev got swept away by Mercedes, I took my baby girl as promised, then dropped her off at my mom’s. Nya was going to my mom’s house in the morning. She just got there a little sooner. Told mom we had a family emergency. That wasn’t exactly a lie.

  Ebony swallowed.

  “Yeah! Right there. Suck your dick, bitch. Suck it like it’s the last time you gon’ taste this muthafucka.”

  Etta would snatch me up if she heard what I’d just said. We may have an almost decent relationship now, but Etta did not tolerate profanity or disrespect of any kind. If she knew where I spent my weekends, she’d probably stop watching Nya. If she knew what I was doing behind Dev’s back, my mother would disassociate with me . . . again.

  Ebony glanced up at me, smiled, but never stopped jacking me off.

  This was the life! I wasn’t different from the average dude. Our dicks wanted more than one pussy. Only the strongest dudes didn’t stray. Trust me. It took a large degree of willpower to have sex with one and only one woman throughout an entire relationship. Actually, fucking Ebony on the regular was the only reason I was still with Dev.

  I’d never call Ebony the B word outside of the bedroom, but I had to admit, it felt Tarzan pound-on-my-chest good to unleash the beast inside of me. I hated being a fucking gentleman in the bedroom.

  I yelled, “Aah-eeh-ah-eeh-aaaaaah! Bitch!” cumming into her mouth.

  The expression was intended as a compliment to Ebony for the way she rocked the mic. She didn’t let go of my dick. She turnt up.

  “Ahhh. Damn.” I was spent. I tried to relax. Couldn’t. Knew better than to touch my, I meant, her dick.

  Two wives would serve me well. I wish I could openly marry them both. Dev wasn’t enough in the bedroom, but she’d just made my sexing Ebony on the regular less complicated. I appreciated her for that. I was truly blessed to have a lady and a freak. Starting next week one would be to my right, the other on my left side.

  One in front of the camera. One behind. Me sandwiched in the middle.

  Ebony stayed ahead of my ass. Always gave me a reason to chase that pussy. Dev relentlessly held on to my rear, making sure I didn’t leave her.

  I was glad when I’d gotten Dev pregnant. My ace card with her was, with her daddy issues, I knew she’d never want to raise Nya without me. I played that to my advantage. Gave her a ring to make her feel worthy, but I was not close to being ready for marriage. Had to respect Dev telling me not to solicit representation of any more of her folk, but I had an idea that would draw her cast to me. I wasn’t as dumb as Dev thought, but it was best to let her believe that she controlled me.

  Ebony picked up a bottle off of the headboard, then slowly drizzled orange tequila liqueur along my flaccid dick. Parting her lips, she took a swig, squished, swallowed the alcohol as a chaser to my cum, then placed the bottle back where it was. Her lips lowered toward my crotch.

  “No, my babe. Please. I can’t take any—”

  Her shut-the-fuck-up stare silenced me.

  Seems like all Ebony wanted to do was suck every seed out of my sack. Covering my dick with both hands, I had to ask, “Who else you been fucking?”

  “If you want some pussy, Phoenix, all you have to do is take it, nigga.” She crawled out of bed, put on her robe. “I could ask you the same. Who did you screw last night?”

  She had me frowning. “You know my situation,” I said, sitting on the edge of the mattress. Had to admit, her getting up was a relief. My chopper was sprawled atop my nuts marinating in sticky liqueur.

  “I know my position. I’m your side. You’re my main. Remember? It’s not the other way,” she said, swaying her ass in my face.

  “Goldie, look at me,” I said, slapping her booty. “I didn’t give her your dick last night or before I saw you today.”

  “Yeah, right,” she said. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to manage me. We are with each other and Devereaux is going to find out if you’re on set. If she finds out, I’ll lose my job. You’ll lose me as a client. Neither of us will get paid. We’ll be two homeless bitches with one blanket.”

  We laughed.

  What was the worst that could really happen? I’d have to move in here.

  “That’s exactly why I have to manage you,” I insisted. “She’d never suspect us if we’re around her all the time.”

  “Yes, she will. That’s exactly why you are not going to brand me. You’re fired.”

  What the fuck did she mean by the tone of her word brand? There was no way I was going to let Ebony break it off with me for the career I got her. I felt tension tightening in my neck. I massaged my shoulder, picked up my cell, and took it off of silence as I entered the bathroom.

  “I need you . . .” played. Ignoring Dev, I placed my phone on the vanity, stepped under a hot, steaming shower for about fifteen minutes.

  When I entered the bedroom, Ebony was fumbling through her drawer. Stuffed something in her pocket.

  Placing my cell on the bed, I oiled my body, toweled off, got dressed, told her, “I’m your manager. That’s final.”

  Ebony untied her robe, stood in front of me naked. Those perky nipples made my dick swell a little. Mind was willing, but a low blood flow was all he had. I pulled her to me, started sucking her titty. My man mustered up enough thickness to penetrate. He wanted to feel her insides. I picked her up, carried her to the bed, unfastened my pants, and began fucking Ebony missionary.

  My chopper was sore as hell. Should’ve kept him tucked.

  She ripped open my shirt, grabbed the collar, yanked me toward her, then thrust her hips into mine. “Okay, I’ll let you manage me under one condition.”

  It didn’t matter what she was about to say. I was shocked that I was on the verge of firing off another nut.

  “Anything for you, my babe.”

  Her pussy spat out my pole. She gripped my shaft, then said real sexy, “Promise me you’ll never fall in love with Devereaux.”

  My chopper went from heaven to hell. Serious nosedive. I never should’ve confessed to Ebony that I loved but wasn’t in love with Dev. That was a real mitch move. Dev was solid, but I couldn’t give my heart to a woman who didn’t need me for anything except a manny to our kid, and a last name change. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dev’s money was cool and all, but that empathic bullshit she dropped on a regular was emasculating.

  “I want to be the only woman you’re in love with.”

  “Cool.” If I gav
e up my emotional and financial security for this girl, would she have my back? Or leave me on the doorstep the way Etta had done?

  “And,” she added. Ebony held my soft dick head close to her pussy. “I want this,” she said, squeezing so hard I yelled, “Damn!” She continued as though I hadn’t screamed. “Inside of me every day.”

  Her pussy felt so amazing I could hit it three, four times in twenty-four hours and never become bored. Fall asleep dick-deep in her hole, but what she’d ask for wasn’t possible and she knew it. The only way I could hit this daily . . . I was not doing her on set. Ebony had fucked up my sexual high. I suspected she might be aiming to set me up for failure.

  To end this session, I told her, “I’ll work it out.”

  Maybe it was the way Ebony held me in her arms after sex. Or the way she made me feel needed all the time. Her orgasmic gourmet dishes were the best. She could heat up the bedroom, but Ebony had never cooked me a meal.

  All the things Ebony did to pleasure me, I wish Dev made time to tend to me this way. I rolled onto my back, still had on my shirt. Ebony slid on top of me. She still had on her robe. We embraced each other. I kissed her. Already in hot water, I’d get up in a few. Ebony’s hug was healing.

  “I need you . . .” played on my phone.

  Stretching my arm, I felt for my cell, read Dev’s text, Call me now. The prior six messages read the same.

  I flipped Ebony onto her back. “I’ve got to go, babe.”

  I took a three-minute shower, put on my pants, grabbed a fresh shirt out of Ebony’s closet. I had extra everything here. Clothes, underwear, shoes, ties, deodorant, lotions, body wash, were all at Ebony’s house. She’d put me up on buy two of each outfit, leave one at her place. Said women noticed everything and Dev would definitely know if I’d ever come home looking or smelling different.

  Stepping into my shoes, Ebony said, “Babe, come here.”

  “I can’t. I gotta go. Come lock the door.”

  “Just come here for a sec,” she insisted.

  I stood by the side of the bed.

  “Since you’re going to manage me, you’re going to need this,” she said, handing me a key.