Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This Read online

  Also by Mary B. Morrison

  Somebody’s Gotta Be On Top

  He’s Just a Friend

  Never Again Once More

  Soul Mates Dissipate

  Who’s Making Love

  Justice, Just Us Just Me

  Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This

  MARY B. MORRISON

  KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.

  http://www.kensingtonbooks.com

  All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.

  Table of Contents

  Also by

  Title Page

  Dedication

  PREFACE

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Who Do You Love

  GET REAL WITH THE SPIRIT WITHIN YOU

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHAPTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  AUTHOR’S MESSAGE

  A READING GROUP GUIDE - NOTHING HAS EVER FELT LIKE THIS

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Copyright Page

  Dedicated to three women of distinction.

  Karen Thomas, my editor,

  Joan Schulhafer, my publicist,

  Claudia Menza, my agent.

  PREFACE

  Soul Mates Dissipate, Never Again Once More, He’s Just a Friend, Somebody’s Gotta Be On Top, Nothing Has Ever Felt like This, and my next two novels, When Somebody Loves You Back and Our Little Secret are intertwined. I recommend, if possible, reading the series in the order listed above. Hopefully the brief background below will help the reader better understand the characters’ connections. To preview an excerpt of each novel, visit www.marymorrison.com.

  Soul Mates Dissipate is, for now, the beginning. This page-turning drama takes you on a journey with Jada Diamond Tanner and Wellington Jones, aka . . . soul mates. Wellington’s mother, Cynthia Jones—who has a history of her own with her sister Katherine, friend Susan, and ex-lover Keith—secretly despises Jada. Cynthia invites a sexy, single woman, Melanie Marie Thompson, to live with Wellington, with the hopes of sabotaging Wellington’s engagement to Jada.

  Never Again Once More, the sequel to Soul Mates Dissipate, spans twenty years into the lives of Jada and Wellington. Darius Jones, Jada’s son, is born and matures to twenty years of age. Before the end of this story, Jada appoints Darius as executive vice president of her company. Immediately Darius takes advantage of the fringe benefit by having sex with four of his mother’s top-level directors.

  In He’s Just a Friend, Fancy Taylor is a beautiful but not so brilliant woman on the move to conquer a rich husband by any means necessary. Along her journey she’ll meet several male friends, some of whom become foes, and eventually Fancy meets Jada’s son, Darius Jones.

  In Somebody’s Gotta Be On Top, regardless of the situation, Darius Jones is always on top. His motto, “If it doesn’t make money, it doesn’t make sense,” includes the women in his life. That is, until he meets Fancy Taylor.

  In Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This, will Fancy Taylor outsmart Darius Jones for his money? Or will Fancy fall in love with Darius? What happens when two people love so deeply, they’re willing to die for, with, and because of one another? By the end of their story, Darius and Fancy will learn the true meaning of love.

  In When Somebody Loves You Back, death has a way of making people appreciate life. Which one of your favorite characters will die? Will Jada take Wellington back? Or does Jada sign divorce papers? Why did Melanie mysteriously disappear? Who humbles Darius? Will Fancy marry Darius or Desmond? Will Darius marry Fancy or Ashlee? Can Tyronne remain faithful to SaVoy? Or does marriage bore Tyronne after SaVoy helps him establish a successful business? Now that Candice has earned millions writing and selling screenplays based on her friends’ lives, spiced up her lifestyle, and thrown away all of her conservative clothing, will Terrell ask for a divorce and half of Candice’s empire? Will Darius kill Candice for publicizing his personal life on the big screen? Or does Candice’s movie production catapult Darius’s celebrity status to a higher level? This novel gives closure to all the main characters in the series, except Cynthia Elaine Jones.

  In Our Little Secret, if you’ve read each novel, as I mentioned before, Cynthia Jones has a history so moving, trust me, her story will be worth the wait. Cynthia’s story creates the beginning and concludes the end of the seven-book series.

  After Cynthia’s novel, Our Little Secret, I know I promised not to keep you waiting for Kiss Me: Now Tell Me You Love Me, a chilling drama about Harrison and Angela Gray, but my new characters Destiny, Brenda, Shay, Trevor, Malcolm, and Larry have spoken to me and claimed my next series entitled: Dicktation. The Dicktation series, set in my hometown of New Orleans—known as the city that care forgot—explores the wildest sexual fantasies imaginable while conquering some of the most difficult relationship challenges. Ladies, if you thought you wanted a southern man, wait until you read this series. Men, if you’ve ever wondered if southern women practice voodoo, you’ll find out. Here’s a tip: Never kiss before you smell.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  There is interconnectedness amongst people. Everybody needs somebody and everyone should have a personal relationship with his or her God. No one person becomes successful without the assistance of family, friends, and others whom are often unknown contributors.

  When I order food at a drive-through or dine at restaurants, I’m thankful that someone prepares and delivers the meal. Wherever I use a public rest room, I’m pleased when it’s clean. I appreciate the support and dedication exhibited by booksellers, readers, writers, editors, publicists, agents, parents, coaches, students, airline personnel, bankers, brokers, teachers, janitors, sanitation engineers, policemen, firemen, war veterans, military enlistees, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, et cetera. To each of you I say “thanks” for your contributions to our society and, “Please use your skills, talents, and education for the betterment of mankind, for we all shall perish but let’s cherish one another while we exist on this planet called earth.”

  I’ve never written a book without expressing gratitude for my family and I never will. In loving memory of my biological parents, Joseph Henry Morrison and Elester Noel. To my deceased great aunt and uncle, who reared me, Willie Frinkle and Ella Beatrice Turner, I love you.

  To my loving son, Jesse Byrd, Jr., I love you, and remember, now that you’re living on your own in college, there are times to practice, study, and make sacrifices for your future, and there are opportunities to chill, date, and simply have fun. Remain a wise man and never confuse the two or you will fall short of maximizing your potential. I’m proud of you, sweetie. You are truly a wonderful young man with great character and you are Mommy’s most cherished gift from God.

  To my siblings, I love you guys immensely: Wayne, Derrick, Andrea, and Regina Morrison, Margie Rickerson, and Debra Noel. A special thanks to Angela Dionne Davis, my niece who faithfully reads each of my
novels and blesses me with sharing her candid thoughts. Each of my siblings has wonderful spouses whom have also supported me over the years. Thanks to Angela Lewis-Morrison, John Ferguson, Dannette Morrison, Roland Johnson, and Desi Rickerson.

  Shannette Slaughter, Barbara Cooper, Carmen Polk, Gloria Mallette, E. Lynn Harris, Mary Monroe, Carl Weber, Victoria Christopher Murray, Kim Roby, Ruth and Howard Kees, Vanessa Ibani-toru, Brenda and Aaron, Lillie Zinnerman, Erma Harris, Geri Henson, Daisy Davis, and my McDonogh No. 35 Roneagles family, thanks for your continued support.

  To my entire Kensington family: Joan, Karen, Jessica, Mary, Maureen, Nicole, Steven Zacharius, and Barbara Bennett, I am grateful for all you do.

  Felicia Polk, you are my friend and the world’s greatest publicist, thanks for believing in me. Much love to my man Curtis Webster. I have so many more people to acknowledge but I also have other books to write, so if I didn’t mention you this time, forgive me now, remind me later.

  Who Do You Love

  How do you know when you’re in love

  Is it the butterflies

  Or when you ask yourself why

  Why do you settle

  Why won’t you leave

  When your lover pushes you away

  You beg to stay

  Life without your partner

  You don’t want to breathe

  Or live

  Or give

  Some stranger a chance

  To recycle your heart

  You know

  The part

  You’ve already given to someone else

  Is that love

  Your heart beats to the rhythm of your lover’s drum

  Suddenly there is silence

  Echoing in your mind

  But who stopped drumming

  How do you know when you’re in love

  When you are not

  But you want to be

  But infidelity

  Then you don’t care for me

  Like you used to

  Because you don’t do . . .

  You know

  The things I do

  To show you care

  Or is it the way you feel

  When the other one is not there

  I miss you

  Or is love an illusion in your mind

  Created to share

  The emotions you bare

  But how do know when you’re in love

  Is it simply because you say you care

  I love you too

  Is it the way you speak

  Or the way you stroke

  A piece

  Of your mate’s anatomy

  Evoking pleasure

  Beyond measure

  Is that love

  Or lust

  That cums through the guts

  And explodes from the nuts

  Showering seeds of life

  The way you like

  Making you feel real good

  Like when Stephanie Mills melodically sings

  “Baby, I feel good all over”

  But do you discharge

  Or discard

  Then disregard

  The lifeline that connects

  The two

  When the shower is neither

  For nor from you

  Or do you forgive

  Forget

  Or move on to the next ex

  With your heart not your head

  Anyone can share a bed

  But can you sleep in the one you’ve made

  Or do you simply change the sheets

  And wait for the next pair of feet

  To walk its way into your heart

  Suddenly the beat of the drum stops again

  You gasp for air

  From someone who truly cares

  For you

  How do know when you’re in love

  How do you show the intangible

  Master of faith

  Which masturbates

  In the mind, heart, and soul

  Do you hold

  Your lover accountable

  Insurmountable

  To your standards

  And measures

  Of love

  Or do you surrender

  To the contender

  Or are you a pretender

  How do you know when you’re in love

  You don’t

  You see love is but a vision

  Of what one desires to have

  To hold

  And sometimes to be

  Love unfolds

  In time

  First within the heart

  Then within your mind

  Because you cannot separate

  The ying from the yang

  Ain’t that some shit

  You’re called a bastard or a bitch

  Then hit with an invisible fist

  Filled with anger, hate, and envy

  But here’s the trick

  Where is the click

  Or flip of the switch

  Or changing of the script

  It’s kinda sad when

  Your heart doesn’t even know when to quit

  Or how to sit

  And simply be quiet

  How do you know when you’re in love

  It’s not when you set someone free

  Excuse me your majesty

  But you cannot possess

  That which does not belong to thee

  You see lovers are not property

  So what if you’ve tied the knots

  Of forget me nots

  To have and to hold

  Until death do you part

  Well that sounds smart

  Or clever

  Whateva

  But love does not require a signature

  Or license

  Or a spoken word

  No nouns

  No people

  No actions

  No verbs

  How do you know when you are in love

  It’s simple

  When you’re willing to give

  The life you live

  The ultimate price

  Sacrifice

  Love does not lie

  True love is when you are willing to die

  In order to let someone else live

  Who do you love

  GET REAL WITH THE SPIRIT WITHIN YOU

  Do you believe in magic? The power of the spirit? Do you have faith? Or do you believe in your God? Intangible things that you cannot see, do they exist? Love. Truth. Respect. If so, where? How about the presence of a deceased loved one? Does he or she speak to you? If you believe in any of the above then my next question is, “Do you believe in yourself?”

  Before you answer, respond to these questions. Do you suppress the spirit within you? Do you allow others to use you? Abuse you? Disrespect you? Are you oblivious to your self-worth? How much are you worth? Seriously. Are you afraid to take a risk? Live your dreams? Fall in love? Show someone you care? Are you unhappy more than you’re happy?

  If you’ve answered yes to any of the questions in the aforementioned paragraph, I want you to do this. Every day for the rest of your life, look into your soul. If you have the gift of sight—it is genuinely a gift—stare into your eyes in a mirror until you can see yourself beyond the physical. If you are blind, and many people with vision cannot see, allow your spirit to search your soul.

  Say aloud to yourself, “I love me more than I love anyone else.” Repeat these words until you believe them. Why? Because people who truly love themselves do not allow others to use, mistreat, or abuse them. I’m not suggesting that you won’t be hurt mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. What I am saying is that you will begin to recognize the early warning signs of negative people who consciously and sometimes unconsciously inflect pain upon you. You will determine the individuals who remain an intimate part of your life and those you need to sever ties with and move on.

  Then you must stand in your own truth. Not denial, but truth. Get real with
the spirit within you. The simplest way to express yourself to those who attempt to hurt you is to gently respond with these kind words, “I love me more than I love you. Therefore, I will not create, perpetuate, nor allow your unacceptable behavior. I’m not saying I don’t love you because I do. But if you love me, too, then I need for you to respect and hear me.”

  Your partner should be your lover, your friend, and your confidant. Your friends should simply be your friends. Not your boss, or your dictator, or your oppressor. Be careful that you are not the culprit of your demise. More often than not people initiate their own problems through cultivating bad habits and/or accepting adverse behavior.

  You may have to speak the above words or something similar several times before the person understands you. Change takes time but your actions must reflect your words. Whether you are on your job or in your home, speak calmly in your moments of frustration and despair. Remember, anger generates hostility. Be at peace and become one with the love inside of you. For only you can make manifest your destiny.

  If you don’t remember anything else I’ve said, do not forget these words sung best by the late, great Aaliyah, “At your best you are love.” Know that those words apply to your spirit within. It is true. At your best you are love. Don’t give away your power. You don’t need approval to know you are wonderful. If a positive change in your life is to come, personal growth has to come not from you but through you.